On top of the world - at least for a moment...
Today I actually saw my fastest mile split since before LG was born! Now I have a hard time writing my time down and talking about it because I feel like people think "oh, that's it?" But for me - I felt awesome! We did the relay run today and the first mile was a WU - I felt pretty good - then the first mile I ran was 7:45 - which was a bit surprising, I have seen this split a time or two... but it was the second mile that got me - 7:33! I haven't seen this kind of split on my watch in a long, long time!
It's amazing how long it takes to get back into everything after having a baby. I worked out almost the entire pregnancy, then I started training shortly after the birth of my son. In fact, I did my first marathon 9 months after having him.... so it's not like I've been sitting around on my ass.... so it's just taken a long time to get the speed going again. Not that I've ever had that much speed, but to see anything under 8:00 is great for me.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Feeling Funky.
I'm so tired and I feel so crappy and sad. I went to track this morning, tried to run - but my legs are just beat. I'm beat. I'm the only one out there that is struggling to put one foot in front of the other. And don't even talk about doing any kind of "speed work". Yeah, right. I couldn't even get around the track once without stopping, walking and thinking about leaving. I tried to pull it together for my first 400. Nope, nothing. I stopped, walked and thought about quitting.
Finally, I pulled it together enough to run an easy few miles.... the rest of the gang was doing the scheduled workout. I kept thinking "how are they doing that?" My legs just weren't doing it for me today. I hate days like this because I feel like such a loser and I start doubting myself and my abilities. I wonder how the hell am I ever going to get to that finish line? I also think about how the training must be soooo much easier for others - and I also start thinking about how I'm probably going to be the last person in our group to finish and I'm going to be bummed about it. Why do I even care though? Because I know others care about it? I'm sure they're thinking how they're going to beat me. And why? Why does it matter who you beat in the Ironman? Why do I think about this shit? Why do I hear people talking about how they finished first or whatever in a bike rally and I crack up. I mean, honestly - who the hell cares?
Maybe I just wish I had a little streak of competitiveness in my blood. I wish something like that would motivate me to train harder - but it just doesn't. Maybe it's because I'm older - and I used to be faster, but I'm not that concerned about it anymore. I just want to finish this damn race! I just want to have the strength to pick up my little boy afterwards and give him a big ol' hug and kiss and tell him that Momma missed him all day!!
I just need something that makes me feel good about all this training. What makes me feel good about it? I'm so tired that I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat today. I just don't feel so good about myself. I know that I'm worn out when every little thing about myself starts to bug me. I was getting ready for work this morning and was thinking that I need to color my hair. Need to get cuter clothes, need new shoes, need new makeup.... I just look at myself and think I'm not very attractive. Other days I don't feel this way at all. Other days I think "Damn, you look good for being a mom!!" Not today though. I'm just beat down and worn out!
Ahhhhh, the life of Ironman training.
I'm so tired and I feel so crappy and sad. I went to track this morning, tried to run - but my legs are just beat. I'm beat. I'm the only one out there that is struggling to put one foot in front of the other. And don't even talk about doing any kind of "speed work". Yeah, right. I couldn't even get around the track once without stopping, walking and thinking about leaving. I tried to pull it together for my first 400. Nope, nothing. I stopped, walked and thought about quitting.
Finally, I pulled it together enough to run an easy few miles.... the rest of the gang was doing the scheduled workout. I kept thinking "how are they doing that?" My legs just weren't doing it for me today. I hate days like this because I feel like such a loser and I start doubting myself and my abilities. I wonder how the hell am I ever going to get to that finish line? I also think about how the training must be soooo much easier for others - and I also start thinking about how I'm probably going to be the last person in our group to finish and I'm going to be bummed about it. Why do I even care though? Because I know others care about it? I'm sure they're thinking how they're going to beat me. And why? Why does it matter who you beat in the Ironman? Why do I think about this shit? Why do I hear people talking about how they finished first or whatever in a bike rally and I crack up. I mean, honestly - who the hell cares?
Maybe I just wish I had a little streak of competitiveness in my blood. I wish something like that would motivate me to train harder - but it just doesn't. Maybe it's because I'm older - and I used to be faster, but I'm not that concerned about it anymore. I just want to finish this damn race! I just want to have the strength to pick up my little boy afterwards and give him a big ol' hug and kiss and tell him that Momma missed him all day!!
I just need something that makes me feel good about all this training. What makes me feel good about it? I'm so tired that I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat today. I just don't feel so good about myself. I know that I'm worn out when every little thing about myself starts to bug me. I was getting ready for work this morning and was thinking that I need to color my hair. Need to get cuter clothes, need new shoes, need new makeup.... I just look at myself and think I'm not very attractive. Other days I don't feel this way at all. Other days I think "Damn, you look good for being a mom!!" Not today though. I'm just beat down and worn out!
Ahhhhh, the life of Ironman training.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Adding Insult to Injury
What a weekend. We started it off by running 13 miles at Cedar Hill State Park - and yes, there is a reason it's called Cedar HILL! It was a challenging run to say the least. For once though it wasn't a million degrees out there. Usually when we head out for the hill workout - it's blazing hot and we're running on the pavement with no shade. Thank goodness it wasn't like that this weekend. I had a pretty good run, just took it nice and easy, didn't attack any hills. There were a couple of times when I had to stop running up. I'd stop for a sec., regroup then hit it again. I got major chafing on my thighs. I finally just got to the point of tucking my shorts under (into the liner) and running. I'm sure I looked really hot to the passers by! OH WELL. MY legs were stinging and I still had almost six miles to go. OUCH. The thing about chafing - and doing a hard run is that all you can think about is the pain. I actually thought about asking people as they drove by if they happened to have any vaseline, or a tube of chapstick or something that I could use to ease the pain! I didn't do it... and I finished the run, crusty chafed thighs and all.
Sunday morning, got up at 5:45 a.m., headed out to McKinney, TX for the Rolling Hills bike rally. This was my first century ride. My legs were pretty sore and tired from yesterday's run. I wasn't feeling too good about riding 100. As I drove by White Rock Lake this morning, I noticed how calm the water looked. "At least there's no wind" is what I told myself. I guess by the time we drove north 60 miles, the wind had picked up a little. We started the ride, I decided I was going to ride my own pace and try not to bonk! I rode with Guy for 70 miles or so... I even drafted off him in the headwinds at around miles 20-30... I wasn't feeling too hot early on. I was really focusing on my pace and on eating regularly. I felt pretty good throughout the ride, with the exception of having to pee. I had been waiting and waiting for the next rest stop. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore and decided to let it fly. I looked around me - checked to make sure no one was riding behind me... man did that feel good.... until BURN / OUCH / SHIT / WHAT WAS I THINKING??? My legs are chafed from running yesterday, I'm wearing bike shorts and I just peed myself!! Rookie mistake.
At about mile 70, Guy wasn't feeling too hot so I ended up finishing the ride alone. It was really great not to hit that wall where you've crossed over the distance that you've never done before - you know, where your body is screaming to you "we've never done this, what are you doing?" I somehow avoided that altogether today. It felt great.
First one down, three more to go... the fun has just begun. Giddyup Ironmama!!
What a weekend. We started it off by running 13 miles at Cedar Hill State Park - and yes, there is a reason it's called Cedar HILL! It was a challenging run to say the least. For once though it wasn't a million degrees out there. Usually when we head out for the hill workout - it's blazing hot and we're running on the pavement with no shade. Thank goodness it wasn't like that this weekend. I had a pretty good run, just took it nice and easy, didn't attack any hills. There were a couple of times when I had to stop running up. I'd stop for a sec., regroup then hit it again. I got major chafing on my thighs. I finally just got to the point of tucking my shorts under (into the liner) and running. I'm sure I looked really hot to the passers by! OH WELL. MY legs were stinging and I still had almost six miles to go. OUCH. The thing about chafing - and doing a hard run is that all you can think about is the pain. I actually thought about asking people as they drove by if they happened to have any vaseline, or a tube of chapstick or something that I could use to ease the pain! I didn't do it... and I finished the run, crusty chafed thighs and all.
Sunday morning, got up at 5:45 a.m., headed out to McKinney, TX for the Rolling Hills bike rally. This was my first century ride. My legs were pretty sore and tired from yesterday's run. I wasn't feeling too good about riding 100. As I drove by White Rock Lake this morning, I noticed how calm the water looked. "At least there's no wind" is what I told myself. I guess by the time we drove north 60 miles, the wind had picked up a little. We started the ride, I decided I was going to ride my own pace and try not to bonk! I rode with Guy for 70 miles or so... I even drafted off him in the headwinds at around miles 20-30... I wasn't feeling too hot early on. I was really focusing on my pace and on eating regularly. I felt pretty good throughout the ride, with the exception of having to pee. I had been waiting and waiting for the next rest stop. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore and decided to let it fly. I looked around me - checked to make sure no one was riding behind me... man did that feel good.... until BURN / OUCH / SHIT / WHAT WAS I THINKING??? My legs are chafed from running yesterday, I'm wearing bike shorts and I just peed myself!! Rookie mistake.
At about mile 70, Guy wasn't feeling too hot so I ended up finishing the ride alone. It was really great not to hit that wall where you've crossed over the distance that you've never done before - you know, where your body is screaming to you "we've never done this, what are you doing?" I somehow avoided that altogether today. It felt great.
First one down, three more to go... the fun has just begun. Giddyup Ironmama!!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
It's amazing how different training feels when the other stress factors in my life are at a "calm". Last month, work kicked my ass. I was so stressed out about everything.... now work has slowed down, I've been able to have some "me" time and I haven't missed a day of training in almost two weeks! I feel like a different person. My husband always says that it's not the training that is tough, it's fitting the training in with the rest of your life that's the tough part. That's sooo true. I really hope that work continues to be more manageable for the next couple of months as my mileage will increase as we get closer to our peak training.
This coming weekend I'll be doing my first century ride. My husband is actually going to ride with me! I can't believe it. I don't know if he's actually riding to ride "with me" - or just in support of all the other IM folks that he's training these days. It's going to be a breakthrough workout, so he wants to be there for us. I pray the weather is good. It's been so windy the past few weekends which has made riding a bit more challenging. The other thing going on right now is the heat. We hit 101 degrees yesterday - it's April! What is going on? This is the time to really focus on nutrition and staying hydrated.
I'm feeling pretty good about my training at this point, my body is tired but I have been able to get through the workouts. Last weekend, I had bike problems (again... sigh) but was able to get it repaired and even though it took a while, I got back int he saddle and finished the workout alone / in the wind / around the lake! I was proud of myself for not getting frustrated and skipping the rest of the workout entirely! The next morning I got up and ran 15 (or close to 15) before going to church for the Easter service.... it was just a good feeling to get up, knock out the workout and then have the rest of the day to have quality time w/ the family.
It's going to be more time intensive until after Memorial Day weekend.... I just have to plug along, get through these next 6 weeks or so then I'll be on my way!! I think. I hope.
This coming weekend I'll be doing my first century ride. My husband is actually going to ride with me! I can't believe it. I don't know if he's actually riding to ride "with me" - or just in support of all the other IM folks that he's training these days. It's going to be a breakthrough workout, so he wants to be there for us. I pray the weather is good. It's been so windy the past few weekends which has made riding a bit more challenging. The other thing going on right now is the heat. We hit 101 degrees yesterday - it's April! What is going on? This is the time to really focus on nutrition and staying hydrated.
I'm feeling pretty good about my training at this point, my body is tired but I have been able to get through the workouts. Last weekend, I had bike problems (again... sigh) but was able to get it repaired and even though it took a while, I got back int he saddle and finished the workout alone / in the wind / around the lake! I was proud of myself for not getting frustrated and skipping the rest of the workout entirely! The next morning I got up and ran 15 (or close to 15) before going to church for the Easter service.... it was just a good feeling to get up, knock out the workout and then have the rest of the day to have quality time w/ the family.
It's going to be more time intensive until after Memorial Day weekend.... I just have to plug along, get through these next 6 weeks or so then I'll be on my way!! I think. I hope.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Sacrifices.
This is an email I sent to my non-triathlete friends. In my attempt to let them peek at what my days are like right now. Hopefully they'll understand that I'm not intentionally neglecting them. It's lonely training all the time! I miss my friends a lot. The bad thing is that once the training is over, I feel that I've missed out on so much. Even when I do see them now, I usually can't stay out late, due to a workout the next morning. Or I get somewhere late because of a workout I had to do before I was meeting them. Sacrifice is the name of the game, right?
A day in the life. Or a few days..
Monday
7:30 a.m. - “SHIT”, I overslept! I can’t believe Will woke up so many times last night… get out of bed … legs are so tired from the 80 mile bike ride on Saturday and the 11 mile run on Sunday. Damn, I’m tired. Shower, head to work, late again.
11:45 a.m. - head to the pool for a lunch swim workout, get in about 2500 meters, hurry up and shower, get ready for work (again), call in my lunch order to Two Sisters, pick it up and back at my desk at 1:35 eating.
5:45 p.m. - leave work, pick up Will, get home around 6:15. Change clothes, go for an easy bike ride with Brian and Will (in the trailer). Get home around 7:30, put all the gear away, feed Will and get him in the tub. Brian heads out for pizza (chicken pizza at least). It’s getting near 9:00 p.m., try to shovel some food in so I can start getting LG ready for bed.
9:30 p.m. - William and I fall asleep in the chair, Brian picks him up and puts him in bed, I continue to sleep. Finally, I wake up and decide to jump into bed – so tired that I don’t wash my face, brush my teeth or even change out of my sweatshirt and pants!
Tuesday
5:30 a.m. Alarm goes off, get ready for track, grab all my work clothes so I can get ready at Baylor after the workout. Legs are really heavy today, not a good workout at all.
12:30 p.m. – run all my personal errands (weekly Target trip) – get all the Easter stuff for William’s daycare party, grab lunch on the way back to work and eat at my desk.
5:30 p.m. – leave work, pick up William from day care, get home around 6:30. Load William in his wagon for a walk in the neighborhood and some quality time together. Get home, grab some dinner and start getting him ready for bed. I fall asleep in the chair AGAIN. At least this time I got up and changed and got cleaned up before I jumped into the real bed!!
Wednesday
6:30 a.m. – alarm goes off, get up and get ready for work, grab all my workout gear for the day, get the car loaded. Wake Will up at about 7:45, get him ready for day care and we’re out the door. I actually might make it to work on time! Yay.
12:00 – head to the pool for my swim workout, swim – get ready, grab lunch at Two Sisters and eat at my desk.
5:45 – leave work, head to the lake to get a 2 hour bike ride in, get some food on the way home, feed Will and start the bedtime ritual….
Thursday
5:30 a.m. – alarm goes off, gotta get up and head out for my Thursday morning run – we’re running hills today, I’m going to hate walking up and down those damn stairs at work….
This is an email I sent to my non-triathlete friends. In my attempt to let them peek at what my days are like right now. Hopefully they'll understand that I'm not intentionally neglecting them. It's lonely training all the time! I miss my friends a lot. The bad thing is that once the training is over, I feel that I've missed out on so much. Even when I do see them now, I usually can't stay out late, due to a workout the next morning. Or I get somewhere late because of a workout I had to do before I was meeting them. Sacrifice is the name of the game, right?
A day in the life. Or a few days..
Monday
7:30 a.m. - “SHIT”, I overslept! I can’t believe Will woke up so many times last night… get out of bed … legs are so tired from the 80 mile bike ride on Saturday and the 11 mile run on Sunday. Damn, I’m tired. Shower, head to work, late again.
11:45 a.m. - head to the pool for a lunch swim workout, get in about 2500 meters, hurry up and shower, get ready for work (again), call in my lunch order to Two Sisters, pick it up and back at my desk at 1:35 eating.
5:45 p.m. - leave work, pick up Will, get home around 6:15. Change clothes, go for an easy bike ride with Brian and Will (in the trailer). Get home around 7:30, put all the gear away, feed Will and get him in the tub. Brian heads out for pizza (chicken pizza at least). It’s getting near 9:00 p.m., try to shovel some food in so I can start getting LG ready for bed.
9:30 p.m. - William and I fall asleep in the chair, Brian picks him up and puts him in bed, I continue to sleep. Finally, I wake up and decide to jump into bed – so tired that I don’t wash my face, brush my teeth or even change out of my sweatshirt and pants!
Tuesday
5:30 a.m. Alarm goes off, get ready for track, grab all my work clothes so I can get ready at Baylor after the workout. Legs are really heavy today, not a good workout at all.
12:30 p.m. – run all my personal errands (weekly Target trip) – get all the Easter stuff for William’s daycare party, grab lunch on the way back to work and eat at my desk.
5:30 p.m. – leave work, pick up William from day care, get home around 6:30. Load William in his wagon for a walk in the neighborhood and some quality time together. Get home, grab some dinner and start getting him ready for bed. I fall asleep in the chair AGAIN. At least this time I got up and changed and got cleaned up before I jumped into the real bed!!
Wednesday
6:30 a.m. – alarm goes off, get up and get ready for work, grab all my workout gear for the day, get the car loaded. Wake Will up at about 7:45, get him ready for day care and we’re out the door. I actually might make it to work on time! Yay.
12:00 – head to the pool for my swim workout, swim – get ready, grab lunch at Two Sisters and eat at my desk.
5:45 – leave work, head to the lake to get a 2 hour bike ride in, get some food on the way home, feed Will and start the bedtime ritual….
Thursday
5:30 a.m. – alarm goes off, gotta get up and head out for my Thursday morning run – we’re running hills today, I’m going to hate walking up and down those damn stairs at work….
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Damn, I'm tired! My legs wouldn't move this morning. After the long weekend of training, I had a great swim on Monday afternoon. I did an easy ride at the lake with the husband and LG after work.... I fell asleep immediately after LG hit the hay (slept in my pants and sweatshirt with makeup - gross!). I got up early to do track this morning and man, it was tough.
I was supposed to do 1 mi. WU, 2 x 400, 2 x 1600, 2 x 400, 2 mi CD. It was just too much for my legs. I felt like my legs weighed a hundred pounds. And can we just talk about how friggin' boring it is to run around the track? I realized today that we run counter-clockwise at the track but everywhere else we run clockwise. Hmmm, why is that? Why is it that I was thinking of random stuff while trying to do a track workout? Could it be that my mind was desperately searching for something to stimulate it during the tedious loops of the track? I needed something to keep me going. I don't know what it is about that stupid track. It seems like I'm always beating myself up out there. I can't remember a time when I actually enjoyed my run at the track. It's soooooo hard mentally! What can I do to shake it up a little bit? Maybe I need to start running w/ the iPod again. I just didn't want to get hooked on training w/ music when I won't be able to use it during a race.
I ended up cutting my workout short this morning. I couldn't finish the second mile repeat. I did finish it, but I stopped running briefly - then tried to regroup and finish... it just didn't work for me. I cut off my 2 mile cool down. GEEZ. I can't keep cutting my workouts, but shit - I'm TIRED!! and I have to work and I have to have the energy to be a Mom and a wife when I get home... someone needs to have a discussion with my coach! Ha - I live w/ him.
I think I'm due for a massage. Something to work the tiredness out... time to call "The Donald". I need to keep better track of my massages, I know it's important for training and recovery to get them regularly.
Does everyone else feel this dang tired? Anyone? How do you do it? When work is slow, it's all I can do to keep my eyeballs open! Geez, I've still got 1.5 hours to go, maybe noone will notice if I schedule myself for a meeting in one of the private conference rooms (take a little nap), only thing is that I'll probably wake up w/ drool and weird marks all over my face. Or better yet, I won't wake up until like 7:00 p.m.
I was supposed to do 1 mi. WU, 2 x 400, 2 x 1600, 2 x 400, 2 mi CD. It was just too much for my legs. I felt like my legs weighed a hundred pounds. And can we just talk about how friggin' boring it is to run around the track? I realized today that we run counter-clockwise at the track but everywhere else we run clockwise. Hmmm, why is that? Why is it that I was thinking of random stuff while trying to do a track workout? Could it be that my mind was desperately searching for something to stimulate it during the tedious loops of the track? I needed something to keep me going. I don't know what it is about that stupid track. It seems like I'm always beating myself up out there. I can't remember a time when I actually enjoyed my run at the track. It's soooooo hard mentally! What can I do to shake it up a little bit? Maybe I need to start running w/ the iPod again. I just didn't want to get hooked on training w/ music when I won't be able to use it during a race.
I ended up cutting my workout short this morning. I couldn't finish the second mile repeat. I did finish it, but I stopped running briefly - then tried to regroup and finish... it just didn't work for me. I cut off my 2 mile cool down. GEEZ. I can't keep cutting my workouts, but shit - I'm TIRED!! and I have to work and I have to have the energy to be a Mom and a wife when I get home... someone needs to have a discussion with my coach! Ha - I live w/ him.
I think I'm due for a massage. Something to work the tiredness out... time to call "The Donald". I need to keep better track of my massages, I know it's important for training and recovery to get them regularly.
Does everyone else feel this dang tired? Anyone? How do you do it? When work is slow, it's all I can do to keep my eyeballs open! Geez, I've still got 1.5 hours to go, maybe noone will notice if I schedule myself for a meeting in one of the private conference rooms (take a little nap), only thing is that I'll probably wake up w/ drool and weird marks all over my face. Or better yet, I won't wake up until like 7:00 p.m.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Whew, this was a hard weekend. Did an 80 mile ride in Lancaster, TX (bike rally), it was friggin' windy as you know what. The last 20-25 miles were sooooo hard. I was on my brand new Griffen and it felt awesome. I took two bikes to the rally, I was hoping to take the Griffen for the first 20 miles then switch it out w/ the road bike. It was the maiden voyage, so I wasn't ready to commit for the entire ride. I was feeling pretty comfy on the Griffen so I decided to stay with her (or him, I haven't determined the sex or a name for the new ride).
Anyway, the ride was nice. I enjoyed myself, I decided that regardless of where any of my friends were that I was not going to let it affect me or my training. Keeping my head clear and focusing only on myself and what I had to do that day really made a difference. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't stressed out while training. I just have to remind myself that it's about me and my ability, not anyone else - and certainly not my ability to keep up with them. Once I got home, I played with LG, cleaned up a few things - then I swear, I was hit by a truck! WOW, out of nowhere... I took a hard nap and was out of it pretty much the rest of the night. This is after 80 miles on the bike. I don't know how I'm going to get across that finish line. Better yet, when I do cross that finish line, I can't imagine how bad my body is going to hurt!
Today I ran 11 miles, nice and easy. Ran w/ a friend... came home and worked in the yard literally all afternoon with my husband. Went to dinner and again, feeling completely worn out. I need sleep! I wished I could sleep for like 20 hours straight. Someone just hook up an IV to feed me. Let me sleep!!
Good night.
Anyway, the ride was nice. I enjoyed myself, I decided that regardless of where any of my friends were that I was not going to let it affect me or my training. Keeping my head clear and focusing only on myself and what I had to do that day really made a difference. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't stressed out while training. I just have to remind myself that it's about me and my ability, not anyone else - and certainly not my ability to keep up with them. Once I got home, I played with LG, cleaned up a few things - then I swear, I was hit by a truck! WOW, out of nowhere... I took a hard nap and was out of it pretty much the rest of the night. This is after 80 miles on the bike. I don't know how I'm going to get across that finish line. Better yet, when I do cross that finish line, I can't imagine how bad my body is going to hurt!
Today I ran 11 miles, nice and easy. Ran w/ a friend... came home and worked in the yard literally all afternoon with my husband. Went to dinner and again, feeling completely worn out. I need sleep! I wished I could sleep for like 20 hours straight. Someone just hook up an IV to feed me. Let me sleep!!
Good night.
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