Feeling Stronger.

I've been working on getting in quality training. Now that I have an official "coach", I have been more focused on getting the right kind of training in. He has pointed out what workouts are key so if work is too hairy / crazy then I can shift some things around.

We met last week to talk about some of my "issues" and he asked me some very interesting questions. His questions were based on my comments in emails to him and information noted in my training log. He pays attention, I like that. Every coach should, but that doesn't mean that they all do. So, he asked me what motivates me to train? When I'm feeling beat down and "behind", what am I behind? Or better yet, who? And you know - it shouldn't matter who is better / faster / ahead of me. It's about me and my goal. And he asked me to try to figure out exactly where my motivation comes from. I need to really think about why I have the desire to complete the Ironman. Once I identify it, I can draw from that to keep me motivated to train and to train hard.

I get in these funks (if you've read any of the other posts - you'd know that) but the funks are usually based on a crappy workout or a string of missed workouts and then I find myself behind where I think I should be at that particular moment in my training. So, that's the question - why? Why do I, Adrian Hasenbauer want to do the Ironman? Part of it is because I think of myself somewhat as an underdog. I don't think that I have ever thought I could do something like this. I don't think that others think I could do something like this (whether or not this is true is a completely different story). I have this "tough / hard - ass" personality, but am I sure of myself all of the time? No. In athletics, I'm not. I want to do something to prove to myself that I can do something great. It's not to prove to anyone else, not even my husband that I can do this - it's for me. It's to show I too can do this event that I have admired so many others for doing. I want to be that person that people cheer for as she crosses the finish line. I want to do something that one day I will show my son and he won't even believe it. Although with all my husband's medals, I won't look like I did anything "great", just that I did it. Hopefully my son will recognize that it was truly hard and I had to really dedicate myself to accomplishing this while working and being a parent!!

I've been training and I've felt really good lately. I had a great run this past weekend. It's getting colder and that makes running a little more enjoyable! I just kept thinking about how beautiful the day was and how lucky I was that I am able to run 10 miles. Some people have such a hard time with walking and here I am running around White Rock Lake just enjoying this peaceful time to myself. It was really nice to have this on my mind rather than the self destructive thoughts that usually run through my mind during a long run!!

Right now I feel like I just might enjoy training for the Ironman. I feel like I'm already in a much better place than where I was last year when I started this whole process. I'm thankful for last year, don't get me wrong. Like I've said before - things happen for a reason. I just needed this extra time to get my base training in, get my mind right and get to the inner layers within myself to find out what it is I need to feel when I cross that line.